E is for... EXCITEMENT!

Everyone, meet our new room mate.

Squeeeeeeee!

This is Marilla. She is a four month old bundle of fluff found living wild on Mull. As of this morning she is a four month old bundle of fluff living the high life in SquarahandTobenland.

We had quite a bit of trouble naming her. We came up with so many awesome names that just weren't right. Some of them were so geeky it was fantastic. Here are some of the favourites:

• Janeway - as in Captain of Voyager.
• Purrmione - this was my personal favourite. Toben wasn't so keen.
• Alpuss Dumbleadorable - because you need to come up with one ridiculous and hilarious option.
• Amy Farrah Meowler
• Seven of Nine Lives
• Catan - although right now she is only a Kitan.

And of course we considered every female name from every single film, book and tv show that we like; as well as local place names and even some foods (inspired by Griff Rhys Jones' chocolate lab called Cadbury). But we ended on Marilla, Rilla for short. This was only with Anne of Green Gables in mind, but we've since found that Marilla means 'shining sea'. Appropriate.

Most of all, we know she is ours because she sat and watched QI with us. I kid you not, she watched it.

D is for... Dubious Covers

Dear Kimberley Walsh, One Direction, Flo Rida and the rest of you grasping for ideas,

Thank you all for the feeling of despair you have inspired in me. I'm so glad you felt the need to change music as we know it. Believe me, I'm trying here... I said change instead of ruin. I was sitting minding my own business, just watching TV and the next thing I know I'm bombarded by sad. Those poor songs, loved by millions, will never be the same.

Just one tiny thing though; may I perhaps suggest that what made the original so special in the first place was that you weren't part of it? Just a thought.

I like my 80's power ballads cheesy, not helium-voiced; my Blondie sung exclusively by Debbie Harry; and my Wicked left bloody well alone. WELL alone.

Thanks but no thanks,

Sarah Squarah

P.s. I know you One Direction guys are doing this for charity, and also my little cousin loves you, so I can't not like you to the full extent I had originally planned. No need to thank me. No really.