Thursday, 19 July 2012
1. You have no idea how true this is. When I'm out somewhere, usually round at someones house, and I am offered biscuits I will just about always head right for the chocolate chip cookie. But sometimes I end up with a raisin cookie flavoured with cardboard while everyone else noms on a bourbon. This is not acceptable.
2. I cannot express how sad crocs make me. There are so many pairs of beautiful shoes in the world, and that was seriously the best option for you? Worse is the whole family matching croc combo. With those stupid little pins through them to make them look 'pretty'. Urgh. I know someone with hiking crocs. I kid you not. Hiking. Crocs. We aren't close...
3. I really don't know what to add to this. When I was 11 nothing was complicated. That was what being 11 was for. I just... don't understand.
4. I love the English language, so when people can't use it I get kind of sad. I am the kind of person who types out numbers just because I like words. Also, I cling to this so at least I know that somebody somewhere knows how to spell thirteen. Sigh.
5. All over the country ducks are saddened and ashamed that their beautiful beak like exteriors are being abused in such a fashion. I appeal to you, oh reader of potential sensibleness, to never make the face. Please, for the ducks.
6. I'm looking at you Dad. Right at you. And only you. Mr leaves one biscuit in the pack and shapes it like it is full before walking away feeling like a boss. Not ok.
7. This is not what facebook is for. Neither is it for hourly weather updates. That is why we have the Met Office. If this leaves you with nothing to say that is ok. Really, it's fine. Nobody reads it anyway.
8. I have fat hands. They are disproportionately chubby to the rest of me. This means eating pringles is a bit of an ordeal for me. Wearing bangles, also an issue.
9. This is another English language nerd pet peeve. Inappropriate O usage. Examples: 'to funny' and 'I don't want to loose it'.
10. I really think I have this. It works with tiny repetitive movements too. Like the leg jiggle. Nothing drives me more ballistic than the person next to me doing the leg jiggle. I just can't handle it. If I have ever given you the full on Squarah glarey face while you were eating; this is why! Mouth breathers and tea slurpers beware!